But when she said this, I thought to myself, "Uh-oh, maybe I am doing a little misrepresentation here?" Not that I believe it is anyone's business if the Yankee and I argue, but I also don't want to paint such a pretty picture that it is completely unrealistic.
Yesterday on the Hills of Mercy Facebook page I posted a link to this article by Matthew Jacobson. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend you click on it before you go any further with my own blog post today. It is a virtual "how to have peace in your marriage" and I wish someone had put this article in front of me all those years ago. We could have avoided our own War Story.
Have you ever been that person that just loves to plant yourself in one spot and go on and on and on just because you have to be heard? Because you are convinced the other person just needs to hear what it is you are saying? Because you just know that your plans are better than their plans and gosh darn it, they need to HEAR what it is you have to say??? And "Poor, poor me if they don't hear what I am saying." That used to be me. And that mentality was what caused my part in watching our marriage almost fall apart back in the day. I say "my part" because I am a firm believer it takes two to royally mess things up. And yes, one person is probably a little more in the wrong than the other, but guess what? The ONLY thing we have control over is what we can change about ourselves. I remember getting lost so much in arguments, it was like not even being able to see the forest for the trees. There were times in the end I remember thinking "What were we even arguing about to begin with????" Have you been there?
There are so many choices in life. The more I write this blog, the more I see how much control we actually have over our own lives. MJ says, "Arguing isn't something that happens to us, it is something we choose to do." AMEN to THAT!!! What if next time, we just chose to walk away? I have a dear friend in an incredibly difficult situation. I am constantly having to remind her,"Say I love you and walk away..don't let him draw you into his battle world, you have more control over this situation than you can see." The process really transcends marriages even. We can CHOOSE to be the peacemaker when dealing with every difficult situation in our lives, not just spouse situations.
The Yankee and I have vowed to pick up our crosses for one another daily. And I believe people see that from the outside, but when my niece was so shocked that we actually do argue, I felt a bit fake for a moment. We do still have many disagreements, we are very different people and we live in a manner some might consider very stressful, just based on what The Yankee does for a living. But with each disagreement we grow, we learn and we move on to a better couple than we were before. And always, ALWAYS one of us make the conscious decision to be the peacemaker:)
Til next time ya'll!
God Bless and Love Everyone!!
PS..don't forget to search Facebook for "Hills of Mercy Hollers of Grace" Click "like" and share with your friends!!
Arguing
isn’t something that happens to us. It’s what we choose to do. - See
more at: http://timewarpwife.com/?p=2711#sthash.LTH19nXr.dpuf
Arguing
isn’t something that happens to us. It’s what we choose to do. - See
more at: http://timewarpwife.com/?p=2711#sthash.LTH19nXr.dpuf
Arguing
isn’t something that happens to us. It’s what we choose to do. - See
more at: http://timewarpwife.com/?p=2711#sthash.LTH19nXr.dpuf
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