Parlor Fire - Choice #2

"Throw it in the fire." 

These were my husbands instructions to us as we sat around our parlor.  First, I have to invite you into our home and our way of thinking, because in examining myself, I don't think I ever would have used the word "Parlor" if I were NOT married to a Yankee.  We have two living rooms in our home.  There is THE living room, you know the one, where you spend 99.9% of your time.  The television is in there, our bookshelves, the dogs sleep on the couch, it's basically a mess, and it is also basically the room we call home.  The other living area, what I would normally call the Family Room, is in excellent condition, rarely frequented, but it is my husbands favorite room of the house, and HE calls it a Parlor. And, no, it does not have a fireplace.

I could never wrap my mind around calling it a parlor without feeling like I was pretending to live in a mansion.  (The reality is, we live in an adorable 100 year old cottage/bungalow type home), or feeling like I had stepped back into the 1800's, which I believe is the time frame when people actually still used the word parlor????  Then, one day, I was asking one of the kids to bring me something from there and I said family room and they didn't know what I meant. I said parlor and boom, they knew because Daddy calls it the parlor.  So now, it's The Parlor.

Some time ago that Yankee of mine called us all into the parlor.  As we sat down he began to tell us that he had some things he wanted to get rid of.  We were going to pretend there was a fire, right there in the middle of our parlor.  Then, each of us would think of some "things" that we wanted to unload.  We would speak out loud about what these things were, and then throw them in the fire. How easy it would have been to run into my bedroom closet, get some old clothes or any other "things" to put in that fire, but no, this stuff had to come from within.  Sadly, I did not have to dig too far to find something to burn.

We had lived in WV for quite some time when we had a gut-wrenching blow by some people we had really considered family.  It hurt...bad.  We were lied to and treated unjustly.  And I was really, really crushed.  There was zero desire in my heart to act Christ-like toward these people (tell me you've been there right?  I'm not alone on this one???)  Even though we rarely, if ever see them (amazing for such a small town), I would still feel angry each time I did see them.  I am sure my unforgiving attitude towards them was really hurting THEM!  No, it just doesn't work that way...by not forgiving I was only hurting ME and in that, I had to learn that once again, I had a choice.  I could choose to forgive.

Then, our Pastor, Roger, pointed out the most interesting fact in Bible study Monday night..the bible says in Luke 17:

^3-4 “Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.” (MSG)

Never before had I noticed that the Bible states that if the person who you feel has wronged you ASKS FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS, THEN you forgive.  Hmmmmm, this really gave me something to think about.  Because, even though the people who hurt us have never asked for our forgiveness, don't I still have a choice to forgive them?  Technically, no, because a person literally can not be forgiven if they have not asked to be forgiven, if that makes any sense. But that doesn't let us off the hook!!!

There is still a choice here.  Because even if a person has not asked to be forgiven, you still have the choice to let it go, you have to. Holding on to wrongs will eat you alive from the inside out.  It will cause physical illness, depression, and cause us to miss out on the blessings God has in store for us here on this earth.  What would have happened if my husband and I had continued on with our marriage, but we had never forgiven one another?  Our children would have paid the price.  Bitterness would have taken over and our lives would never have grown. Individually we would have paid the price in so many ways. Our home never would have become the way God intended it to be.

A photo from our "Parlor"

I made the choice to take my bad feelings towards those folks and throw it in the fire.  It did not come full circle for me until I heard Roger speak this week that, by throwing it in the fire, I let go of what had been done to us, preparing my heart for the ability to literally offer forgiveness should they ever ask. Forgiveness doesn't just happen automatically. It doesn't just swoop over us like a tidal wave any ol' time it feels like showing itself.   Just like choice #1, love, I must also choose to forgive.

I pray that you also use this principal to forgive yourself.  Whatever it is that is hurting you today, that you feel you brought on yourself, God is just waiting for you to ask Him to forgive you and the second you do that, let it go!!!  Without it, the same cycles will just continue repeating themselves over and over, causing a huge waste of time, but with that one little choice, forgiveness, an entire new world will open up to you!

Til next time and Choice #3....

God Bless and Love Everyone!