Countering Worry

Summer has finally arrived here in Southern California after the longest "winter" we have experienced since moving here. Either way, summer or winter, we can't complain, as winter is not what we would have experienced even 7 short years ago in West Virginia and certainly not what we lived through all those years in Massachusetts. Even summer has taken on a whole new meaning this year, as it is almost mid-July and we have not even had to turn our air conditioner on one time. 

I truly believe that when we are going through some of the hardest times of life, God offers us such blessings to allow us to see He is still there. I know I speak for Kyra and myself when I say one of those blessings is, in fact, the opportunity to live, grow, and just BE in Southern California. There's something very healing and peaceful about this place. Multiply that by a million on the days we get to go to the coast. It's one of the reasons, as our daughters Lyme Disease progressed, we knew we had to move her back home to SoCal from where she was living in NoCal, there is that much of a difference between the two parts of the state.

She also needed to be with us. She needed the help her dad, her brother, her sister-in-law and I could provide with the baby, with medical appointments, just doing life with Lyme. This weekend she had a unique opportunity to take her daughter to Disney. Somehow my children dodged their momma's Grinch, Disney hating gene, and they love it. Kyra spent weeks excited for the trip, planning outfits for not only herself, but her baby girl. Which Disney characters would they be? In the end, she chose Padme for herself, and Moana for the baby. Aren't they just adorable?????

But the weeks didn't come without worry. How long could she last at Disney? Would she end up a tired burden to the family she was attending Disney with? She did not want to interfere with their time, but, with her whole heart and soul, she wanted to go. I admit, I was worried as well, so, I did what mom's do best, and I came up with a plan. Since the family Kyra was going to Disney with was actually going for two days and Kyra was only going for one, her dad and I would plan an entire day around events near Disney so that we would never be more than a half an hour away if she fell ill and couldn't walk around the park anymore. 

Every night as Rich and I go to bed, he listens to a Christian program on his computer called Growing Thru Grace. I admit, I really do try to listen, but, having never been one to have a problem sleeping, I usually fall asleep within the first five minutes!!! It is Pastor Jack Abeelen out of Morningstar Christian Chapel in Whittier, CA. Only twelve miles from Disneyland, we thought this would be a great place to start our day. So yesterday morning, Rich and I headed north toward Whittier. The sermon was on Luke 12:22-34. Worry. Ok, God, I hear you, I had to travel 70 miles north to hear a sermon made just for me for such a time as this. Our family has been experiencing another really dark moment these last seven weeks that I am not at liberty to write about, but between our daughters illness and the other matter we are trying to walk each other through, worry has not only been my middle name, but my first and last as well.

I was excruciatingly worried about Kyra going to Disney for many, many reasons. The Momma Bear in me was alive and well, even though my baby girl is very much an adult. I tried to turn her over to God and just have an enjoyable day with my husband. Then, Pastor Jack said this, "The next time you say, I am worried, I want you to replace worried with FAITHLESS". OUCH....."HOLY SPIRIT ACTIVATE!!!" as one of my favorites, Chynna Phillips alway says. There was no one else in the church but me when he said that. And instantly I knew I could not spend another minute worrying about Kyras illness, I couldn't spend another instant worrying about her at Disney, and I could not spend another minute worrying about the other storm we are walking through as a family at this time. Faithless.......go ahead, try it. What are you worried about right now? Now say it out loud. Now replace worried with faithless. Here, I will go first. I am worried about my daughters illness. I am FAITHLESS when it comes to my daughters illness. What a difference! Imagine having to face God Himself some day with the repentance of being FAITHLESS for my daughters healing?? Wow. This was one of those moments my favorite Pastor ever, Roger Adams in Lewisburg, WV would call an Ebenezer Stone moment. From the very core of my soul I believe my life changed yesterday when Pastor Jack said those words and I will never look at worrying the same. 

Rich and I went on to spend the rest of our day in Dana Point, CA at one of our favorite places, the home of two of our dearest friends. Ed was in Afghanistan with Rich one of the years he was deployed, and, no offense to my real brother in law, but I always call Ed my favorite brother in law because he always took such good care of the kids and I when Rich would deploy from here in SoCal and he always checked on us and would tell us the most amazing stories of the time he and Rich spent in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. We hadn't visited him and his dear wife Annette at this home they have in a while because they usually live closer to us, so, since we were in Dana Point last, someone had installed this surfboard on the hiking trail. I tied it together perfectly with Pastor Jacks message in my mind. Keep Paddling, Stop Worrying, BE FaithFUL Not FaithLESS. In a strange way, it was as if I couldn't love Dana Point anymore, this surfboard sealed the deal for me.

Well, SURPRISE, it turns out all of my worry, was in fact, for nothing. Imagine that!!! Kyra had stopped taking her meds on Saturday in the hopes that the extreme side effects would go away by Sunday and she could enjoy her day at Disney. Her plan worked! I must have received 50 texts of how much fun she was having and the joy on her face and the babies face in the photos is priceless! She was able to stay at the park until 630, when, honestly, her dad and I had to make the call to pick her up because WE were exhausted and it was still an hour ride home. I think she would have been able to last a few hours longer even. So, all of my worry over this matter, was, in fact, for nothing and proved me faithless. So from now I will counter my worry with a strong faith, knowing in my soul that God is working through all of our trials right now and we will see beauty from these ashes in the end!