I Admit It...I'm A Hypocrite

Yesterday I ran into a friend who is battling cancer.  In talking with her, I told her that I feel a bit like a hypocrite.  Many, many times I fall into a self-pity mode.  The Yankee goes off to do his job, which happens to take him far away, and each time he goes, people spend the first week saying "Whatever you need, we are here for you , anything at all."  Then they spend the second week asking about him.  Then, by week three, most are so engrossed in their own lives that they don't even ask anymore how he is or do we need any help with anything. I am putting my heart out there when I share with you that this hurts and it is frustrating. But, as my beautiful niece likes to remind me, I also bring this upon myself by appearing strong enough that I do not need help...and, as has always been hard for me.... asking for it.  If I am at the point of asking you for help, you can bet it is killing me to do so.

 In the beginning, we did a few things to help my friend with cancer. Now that her battle has continued, we have prayed, yes, but not so much as plopped a card in the mail to let her know we are continuing to pray for her. Why? Because my life got busy.  Our daughter got really sick, our son needed to be at football practice, meals needed to be cooked, grass continued to grow, laundry refused to wash itself...well, you get the idea. I allowed life to get in the way of being a faithful servant to someone who could probably really use my time.

Several years back I had the privilege of meeting a wonderful woman named Shirley.  Such a sweet woman. At that time, Shirley was still suffering greatly over the recent loss of her beloved husband. She sat across from me and spoke so sweetly, tears pouring down her face, of how she would still look at the door and expect to see him walk in.   The tears became heavier when she spoke of the realization that she would have to go to bed alone, knowing he would never walk through the door again.  As I sat and cried with Shirley, I had never so clearly understood Gods commands that we take care of the widowed.  

Deuteronomy 24:19-22

When you harvest your grain and forget a sheaf back in the field, don’t go back and get it; leave it for the foreigner, the orphan, and the widow so that God, your God, will bless you in all your work. When you shake the olives off your trees, don’t go back over the branches and strip them bare—what’s left is for the foreigner, the orphan, and the widow. And when you cut the grapes in your vineyard, don’t take every last grape—leave a few for the foreigner, the orphan, and the widow. Don’t ever forget that you were a slave in Egypt. I command you: Do what I’m telling you. (The Message)

I vowed that day that I would visit Shirley.  Then life grew hectic, the calendar continued to turn, and another friend and I vowed we would go visit Shirley.....,..needless to say, season after season has passed and I still could not even tell you where Shirley lives.

I do not mean to be so hard on myself.  Or maybe I do. These are only two fairly recent examples. Difficult times spring up all around me.  Peoples lives open up like sinkholes, explode like geysers, hot, painful water spouting up through the cracks in their very being.  People that could use a helping hand, a kind act, an ear to listen. Is it my responsibility to help or do I concentrate on myself, say I am too busy, and count on the next person to do it?  If God grants us the gift of eyes to see the suffering, a heart to feel others hurt, then shouldn't we have the grace to find a way to help?  I would like to say I would help anyone with anything, but then, well, opportunities present themselves and I don't.  And yet  I would be ecstatic for people to help us when The Yankee isn't around.  Right there!  Did you see it?  I am a hypocrite. Or I am human.  All I know is, I want to do better. And as with all I write about, doing better is a choice I must make.

I would love to hear thoughts on this one, maybe so I have folks to sympathize with over the "we all get busy" or maybe to hear how you overcome your own self and get out there and do what God has called you to do! Either way, hearing from you keeps me going, keeps me writing!

Til next time ya'll have a great weekend!!